I miss sharing the Carriage House Cooking School with all of you. I often stare at the studio from the farmhouse windows and long for the kitchen to be bustling again, welcoming back familiar faces and meeting new people.
It’s been a while and I would like to give a transparent, honest and raw update regarding myself, the Carriage House, where things were, where they are now, where they are headed and to leave a few simmering ideas, so to speak.
To recap, I ended up taking a long pause in hands on classes in order to assist and support my wife as she navigated end stage breast cancer. My last Carriage House class was in December of 2024. In consolation with the Mirror Lake Inn we made the difficult decision to cancel the Fall 2025 Culinary Weekend. That proved to be the right decision.
As many of you know Bridget passed in late October after a decades long battle with her cancer.
The kind words, presence and heartfelt letters and cards that I received form so many of you were greatly appreciated. These were a bright spot in a dark moment of time. I cannot express my gratitude enough.
While I long ago accepted and prepared for the day that her and my journey would become separate, unfortunately, I was not as well prepared for what life would be like without her, moving through a complex world of grief.
I am not sobbing in tears, rather my energy, thoughts and emotions are not as linear as one might have believed them to be; that one person is me.
I returned to work in November as I felt the need to be present more than I had been this summer and fall. It was also good for me to change my environment and engage the chef side of me that had been shelved so to speak.
At The View I am blessed to have an amazing team of chefs and dining room supervisors who do not need me on a daily operational basis. They all did an incredible job running an amazing restaurant in my operational absence.
Back in the chef life with the world moving forward. In hindsight, I returned to "normalcy" without actually being "normal". I realized that shortly after Thanksgiving. I was not fully prepared to cope with the daily life. I ended each day exhausted and empty.
What fueled me was my purpose and she was gone. The intensity of life since Bridget became metastatic was gone. The reality sank in that my world is different. I am different yet still the same, it is a weird, almost out of body sensation.
The season's work was monumental and long. November turned to December, then to January and here we are at the cusp of spring in late February. Life has momentum and energy that we get sucked into. At times I feel like my mind and heart are stuck in the past and my body is being pulled forward; then the snap, ometimes forward and sometimes backwards.
I read C.S. Lewis's Grief In Observation, a well written collection regarding his thoughts and reflections on the loss of his wife to cancer. Ironically there was a movie based on that with Anthony Hopkins and Debra Winger, Shadowlands. Bridget and I saw that the year before we were married and loved it, I guess life imitates art.
I read a lot these days, especially grief and healing related poetry. I have always read a large volume of technical based materials, cooking essays, logging books, farm life stuff, business and leadership materials. Now I try to read about the human condition, grief, healing, essays and books focused on acceptance, understanding, discomfort.
I am keenly aware that I do not fully know my new self as well as I knew the previous version of me, the one who was all in on Bridget, Alec and our life.
As days go by I plot and strategize about the Carriage House. I have made class maps and filled calendars with a years worth of classes. I created social marketing campaigns and graphic content list for marketing. I drew out new content paths and designed the "new" Carriage House here at the farm.
I have been busy and I like the feel of where things will land, progress and develop as the Carriage House moves forward. A short list of creative ideas is below:
YouTube live cooking classes (Facebook Live 2.0)
Conversations @ the Carriage House Podcast
Mountain Lake Journal (furthering my relationship with MLPBS)
Recipe Specific classes
Weekend Workshops
Chef Tables
I have often thought of the Carriage House as my other child. I grew it slow deliberately, cautious to not make perilous mistakes, to market my work with kindness and a pay it forward community approach at its core. I grew it with intention. My goal remains the same as I rebuild this community and share my table once again.
At present my drive is not in tune with where I am at with healing and recovery. I am not fully comfortable in the new Curtiss 2.0 version (like waking up to IOS 26 updates, IYKYK).
Bridget meant the world to me. She was my world. I wish to be fully present as I reflect on her and our life together. I want to heal from her absence with a humbleness and integrity that matches our love for each other. I also wish to grow with intention.
If I do not allow myself to accept the loss of Bridget in a way that makes me better, healthier and stronger I will never recover. I can’t afford to bury my journey with grief by being busy or force on to myself a work load that I will later resent.
2026 is going to be a pivotal year for me, a year to do with it what I feel necessary, to fill it with what gives me joy and to renew purpose and meaning.
Do not worry, this does includes Carriage House Cooking School. It just might not be linear. I will be doing fewer hands on classes than I mapped out and had hoped for. I am slower to get classes on the calendar. Some classes may be pop ups and some may be planned.
The Carriage House Cooking School brings me immense joy. The intimate nature of the classes allow me to meet wonderful people and to share my love of cooking, food, family and friendship. Bridget knew this and wanted to make sure I continued that work as she saw the fulfillment I had with that part of my life.
I ask for your patience and understanding as I navigate this rebuild.
I look forward to connecting again and to meeting new people.
If you made it to this point I am blessed.
Thank you
